A non Jew studying Judaism for almost 2 years alone..
Shalom, I dunno how this will work but...
I would like to share to you readers about my studies about Judaism. If I would tell you where and when it all started why I ended up in Orthodox Judaism it would really be quite so long to share about my search.
I will try to share a brief information of what religion I am from.
I am born a Roman Catholic cause both my parents are, during my teenage years I started to read the Bible (Torah along with the rest of the writings) and New Testament, right there I started to ask a lot of questions about my religion.
Then days, months and few years passed I started to listen to other Christian religions debating etc. about they are the right religion etc. (I don't wanna elaborate much further on how they view things about the only religion going to be save etc.)
Since then I've been praying to G-d to guide me and begging to have mercy on a gentile who is hunger for truth who wants to seek for the truth and wants to know about what Hashem really wants, to guide the people who is heartily searching for truth, who are telling the truth and who holds strongly to G-d's mitzvah...
There is a certain Christian religion I was about to pursue my conversion there..but I don't know why I didn't continue my process.
I still have a lot of questions in my mind. I still asked a lot of questions until I finally reached to search about Judaism. What is it about etc. ( I noticed my article isn't brief anymore by the way lol so, I will just have to end my brief story ) up to there til I reached on searching about Judaism.
The site I've read and took notes about Judaism is on this site www.jewfaq.org here I learned things about who is a jew etc. a bit about Jewish history etc and lot more, I'm stuck in languages on this site actually. Hebrew writings is sure hard. I need someone a professional that will teach me.
Also I've been reading articles in aish.com about why Jews doesn't believe Jesus is the messiah.
I also listened to Rabbi Singer's audio's here on this site outreachjudaism.org
And of course www.orthodox-jews.com Most of this site are really informative for me actually. Of course to those who are curious if what it felt like for me to know why Orthodox Judaism doesn't believe in new testament and Jesus as the messiah.
Honestly, it was really hard for me to accept it at first knowing that what I view him since I was born..but it all make sense even in the New Testament I've read he said Hashem is greater than him. Most of the good teachings in the New Testament are already in the Torah and Writings. So why are there changes that contradicts to Hashem's mitzvah in the Torah in the New Testament..
Anyway, I've asked Rabbi M. Younger about conversion process etc. he told me that I cannot continue to do it alone by myself I need to live in a Jewish community and all and the proper conversion is either in Israel or in US perform in beth din.
Most of the Jew I've contacted really helped me and told me what to do etc. I even signed up in Chabbad Philippines bcause I really want to observe and learn more about Judaism before I am going to contact a rabbi for my conversion process that way it will be easy for the rabbi and myself if we start to begin the process.
That way it is formally observe not just what I'm doing now trying to keep commandments on my own alone. Unfortunately, my family aren't that rich so I cannot just go to Manila where Chabbad Philippines is located and pursue my plan on observing and learning things about holidays there first before contacting to an Orthodox Jew.
I hope when I find another job cause I just quit my job cause it was giving me health problems nothing serious though only my vision got affected.
I really do hope Hashem will guide and help not only me but to those people out there non Jew or Jew who wants to go back to Hashem, who wants to keep G-d's commandment and who wants to know more about our Creator heartily. I am aware there are Movements in Judaism. I have chosen Orthodox Judaism the fact that how they hold dearly to Hashem's commandment and have ever since..