Orthodox Jews using Jewish singles finder services are generally looking for a date which will lead to marriage. There are also many Jewish speed dating services, particularly in large cities. Jewish dating in New York, for example, can be quite dynamic and exciting, but in the frum Jewish world, casual dating is not acceptable, and the concept of dating purely for marriage is taken very seriously.
When making use of Jewish singles finders, no one wants to go into the adventures of dating and searching for one's bashert, one's predestined mate, with divorce in mind. All who date and meet someone who they feel is compatible intend for their marriages to last for as long as they live. It is prudent, however, to know some of the basic laws of divorce in Jewish law.
DIVORCE IN JUDAISM
In Judaism, when a man and a woman are are sanctified under the marriage canopy, they become one soul. So while divorce is sometimes a necessary thing, it is still considered a tragedy, compared by many to an amputation. Instead of the two souls coming together as one, they are torn apart again, becoming separate. Divorce is a very serious and painful process to go through, and while it is many times the right thing to do, it is considered a last resort. Jewish singles finders don't generally list their divorce rates, only their success rates.
LAWS OF DIVORCE
Halacha, or Jewish law, does allow for divorce. The document of divorce is called a get. During the final divorce ceremony, the husband places the get into the hand of the wife or her agent, but the woman may also sue in rabbinical court to initiate a divorce if she wishes. Judaism recognized the right of a wife who has been physically or emotionally abused to a divorce at least from the 12th century.
Halacha requires certain formalities for a get to be considered valid, and does not view a civil divorce as sufficient. A Jewish divorce document must be written by a sofer, or professional religious scribe, and it must have been written with the full approval of the husband, with the intention to be used by him, for the specific woman. A get may not be written with blanks to be filled in later. It must be handed over to the wife, whose acceptance of it is needed to complete the divorce.
Orthodox Jews who take advantage of the many Jewish singles finders services, free Jewish dating websites and Jewish speed dating services may actually have too many choices while dating. There are free Jewish dating websites that boast millions of members, and the dating singles may unintentionally not give each potential match real consideration. Those who have tried different types of services such as Jewish speed dating and internet dating, especially those who are involved in Jewish dating in New York and other large metropolitan areas, may see that their choices can be overwhelming at times. If there weren't so many choices, marriages may actually be more successful. People may inadvertently come into marriage with thoughts such as, if this doesn't work out, there are tons more out there to choose from! Jewish dating in New York and other large cities can be fun and adventurous, but it's important to realize that too much choice can be a negative thing. It's also advisable to only date one person at a time.
Have a question, on Orthodox Jewish Matters? Need an answer? Please Email your questions, Chava will answer your questions with insight and wit.
Have something interesting to say on Jewish Speed Dating?
New! CommentsHave your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.