How Do Orthodox Jews Name Their Children?

Choosing a name for a Jewish baby is not like flipping through a baby name book. Well, there might be some flipping, but the process involves layers of tradition, family obligation, spiritual meaning, and sometimes delicate family diplomacy that could rival a UN negotiation.

When the Name Is Given

For boys: The name is given publicly at the bris milah (circumcision), which takes place on the eighth day of life. The mohel (circumciser) announces the baby's Hebrew name during the ceremony.

For girls: The name is given at a Torah reading in synagogue, usually on the first Shabbat after the birth (or sometimes a few days after). The father receives an aliyah, and a special prayer (Mi Sheberach) is recited, announcing the baby's name and blessing the mother and child.

Until the name is formally given, it is kept secret. Many families will not tell anyone the name before the ceremony. This is partly superstition, partly tradition, and partly to avoid unsolicited opinions from Aunt Shaindy.

The Ashkenazi-Sephardic Difference

This is one of the biggest cultural differences in naming:

Ashkenazi custom: Name after a deceased relative. Never after a living person. This is a deeply held custom — naming a baby after a living grandparent would be considered inappropriate or even a bad omen in Ashkenazi culture. Families often name after the most recently deceased close relative.

Sephardic custom: Name after living relatives — often the paternal grandparents get first priority. A Sephardic grandfather may have several grandchildren named after him during his lifetime, and it is considered a great honor.

This difference can create interesting situations in Ashkenazi-Sephardic marriages. One side wants to honor a living grandparent, the other side is uncomfortable naming after someone who is still alive. Usually a compromise is found.

How Names Are Chosen

Within these customs, there is still room for choice. Common approaches include:

Same name: Using the exact name of the person being honored — if the baby is named after Grandpa Moshe, the name is Moshe.

Same first letter: If the family does not want the exact same name, they might choose a name that starts with the same Hebrew letter. Named after Sarah? The baby might be Shira or Sima.

Meaning connection: Choosing a name with a similar meaning. If the relative's name meant "light," the baby might be named Ora or Meir.

Multiple names: Jewish children often have two Hebrew names (a double name like Yosef Chaim or Rivka Leah), allowing families to honor two people at once.

The Spiritual Significance

Jewish tradition teaches that a name is not just a label — it reflects the essence of the soul. The Talmud says that parents receive a degree of prophecy when naming their child. The Hebrew letters of a person's name are believed to be connected to their spiritual identity and purpose in life.

This is why the Hebrew name is used for all religious purposes: being called to the Torah, on the ketubah (marriage contract), on the gravestone, and in prayers for healing. It is your spiritual identity.

Common Naming Patterns

• Biblical names remain perpetually popular: Moshe, David, Sarah, Rachel, Rivka, Avraham
• Yiddish names are common in Hasidic and Yeshivish communities: Shaindy, Gittel, Feivel, Hershel
• Modern Hebrew names are popular among Modern Orthodox and Israeli families: Noa, Yael, Eitan, Ori
• Virtue names appear across communities: Chaim (life), Bracha (blessing), Simcha (joy)

The Naming Dilemma

Here is the reality that nobody warns you about: with large Orthodox families and the custom of naming after deceased relatives, the pool of "owed" names can be larger than the number of children. Both sides of the family may have expectations. There are diplomacies to navigate. Who gets honored first — the paternal or maternal side? What if two relatives had the same name?

I have seen families agonize over this more than any other aspect of having a baby. But at the end of the day, the child gets a beautiful name, the family's memory is honored, and — most importantly — a new Jewish soul has been welcomed into the world.