Jewish Wedding Traditions: A Complete Guide to the Orthodox Ceremony

I have attended more Orthodox Jewish weddings than I can count. Growing up Hasidic in Brooklyn, weddings were a regular event — sometimes two or three in a single week during the busy wedding season. And every single one still gets me emotional. There is something about an Orthodox Jewish wedding that feels ancient and immediate at the same time. The customs we follow are thousands of years old, but the joy is fresh every time.

Let me walk you through what actually happens at an Orthodox Jewish wedding, step by step.

Before the Wedding — Key Terms to Know

Before I describe the ceremony, it helps to know the Hebrew terms, because you will hear them constantly:

• Chattunah — wedding
• Chattan — groom
• Kallah — bride
• Kabbalat Panim — reception
• Badeken — veiling ceremony
• Chuppah — marriage canopy
• Kiddushin — betrothal (the ring ceremony)
• Ketubah — marriage contract
• Yichud — private union
• Sheva Brachot — seven blessings
• Seudah — festive meal

The Week Before

One of the oldest Jewish wedding traditions is that the chattan and kallah do not see each other for the week before the wedding. The reason is beautiful — they should come to the chuppah with a fresh, renewed feeling of love. Among some very devout communities, the couple does not meet at all during the entire engagement period, which can last six months to a year.

Kabbalat Panim — The Reception

An Orthodox Jewish wedding starts with a Kabbalat Panim — a reception, held separately for men and women. The chattan greets his guests at one table, where friends and family sing and toast in his honor. The kallah sits on a decorated throne-like chair in her own reception area, greeting her guests. Light refreshments are served.

There is a tradition for the mothers of the chattan and the kallah to break a plate together during the Kabbalat Panim. The symbolism is powerful: just as a broken plate can never be fully repaired, a broken relationship cannot be fully mended. Marriage is serious. The commitment is permanent.

Badeken — The Veiling

This is one of my favorite moments at any wedding. The chattan puts on a kittel — a white robe that is also worn on Yom Kippur and that a person is eventually buried in. It symbolizes purity, royalty, and spiritual cleanliness.

Then the chattan walks to the kallah's reception area, accompanied by his family, friends, and musicians. He approaches the kallah and gently lowers a veil over her face. The kallah wears this veil until after the chuppah ceremony.

This tradition goes back to the Torah itself. When Rivkah (Rebecca) first saw Yitzchak (Isaac), she covered her face with a veil (Bereishit 24:65). The Badeken also symbolizes the idea that the kallah's inner beauty and modesty will bring blessing into her new home.

I have seen the toughest men cry at the Badeken. There is something about the chattan walking toward his kallah, surrounded by singing, and covering her face — it is one of the most tender moments you will ever witness.

The Chuppah — Under the Marriage Canopy

The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah, a canopy held up by four poles. The chuppah represents the home the couple will build together — open on all sides, like the tent of Avraham and Sarah, who were famous for their hospitality to guests from every direction.

Some communities hold the chuppah outdoors, under the open sky, to recall Hashem's blessing to Avraham that his descendants would be as numerous and as bright as the stars.

The Kallah Circles the Chattan

When the kallah arrives at the chuppah, she circles the chattan seven times. Why seven? Because the world was created in seven days. Just as Hashem built the world in seven days, the kallah's seven circles represent the building of a new world — the home and family that the couple will create together. Kabbalists add another explanation: there are seven spiritual barriers around a person before marriage, and the circling causes them to fall.

Kiddushin — The Ring

In Jewish law, marriage officially takes place when the chattan gives a ring to the kallah in the presence of two kosher witnesses. This is called kiddushin. The ring must be a simple band — no diamonds, no stones — so there is no question about its value. The kallah does not give a ring to the chattan under the chuppah in an Orthodox ceremony.

This is the legal heart of the wedding. When that ring goes on her finger, they are married.

Reading the Ketubah

After the kiddushin, the ketubah — the marriage contract — is read aloud, usually by the rabbi or another honored family member. The ketubah is an ancient document that outlines the chattan's obligations to the kallah: to provide for her, honor her, and care for her. It is written in Aramaic, and its text has been essentially the same for over two thousand years. Many couples have their ketubah beautifully decorated and framed — it becomes a cherished piece of art in the new home.

Sheva Brachot — The Seven Blessings

After the ketubah reading, seven blessings are recited over a cup of wine. These blessings praise Hashem for creating man and woman, for the gift of marriage, and for the joy of this couple. Different honored guests and family members are called up to recite each blessing. The chattan and kallah drink from the cup of wine.

These seven blessings are so important that they are repeated at festive meals each evening for the entire week following the wedding. Friends and family host dinners throughout the week, and each meal concludes with the Sheva Brachot.

Breaking the Glass

At the end of the chuppah ceremony, the chattan steps on a glass and shatters it. The crowd erupts with shouts of "Mazel Tov!" But the reason behind the custom is bittersweet. Orthodox Jews always yearn for the rebuilding of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. Even at the height of joy, we remember the destruction. Breaking the glass ensures that even in our happiest moments, we carry the memory of what was lost — and the hope for what will be restored.

Yichud — The Private Room

Immediately after the chuppah, the chattan and kallah leave together and enter a private room. The door is locked, and two witnesses stand outside for about five to ten minutes to confirm that the couple was alone together. This is called yichud (union), and it formally finalizes the act of marriage in Jewish law.

For the couple, after the intensity of the ceremony, these few quiet minutes alone are often the most precious part of the entire day. They usually have not eaten all day (many brides and grooms fast until after the chuppah), so there is often a small meal waiting for them in the yichud room.

The Seudah — The Wedding Feast

Then comes the party. And let me tell you — an Orthodox Jewish wedding celebration is something else.

By ultra-Orthodox tradition, the seudah is fully segregated, with separate dance floors for men and women. At some Modern Orthodox weddings, the meal may be mixed while the dancing is separated by a mechitzah (partition).

The music is live, the dancing is wild, and the energy is extraordinary. Men dance with the chattan, lifting him on a chair, doing acrobatics, bringing in jugglers and fire-eaters, doing anything to increase his joy. On the women's side, the kallah is lifted on a chair too, and her friends dance around her with ribbons, signs, and coordinated routines they have been practicing for weeks.

It is pure, unbridled joy. I have danced at weddings until my feet ached and my voice was gone from singing, and I would not trade those nights for anything.

If You Are Invited to an Orthodox Jewish Wedding

A few tips for first-time guests:

• Dress modestly. For women, this means sleeves past the elbow, skirt past the knee, and a covered neckline. For men, a suit and tie.
• Expect a kippah. Men will be given a kippah (skull cap) at the entrance. Please wear it throughout the event.
• Know the schedule. The Kabbalat Panim, Badeken, and Chuppah come first. The meal and dancing follow. The whole event can go very late.
• Men and women sit separately at ultra-Orthodox weddings.
• Gifts are welcome. Cash, checks, or gift cards are the most common. If you are bringing a physical gift, Judaica items (like a Shabbat candlestick set or a challah board) are always appreciated.

Most importantly — come ready to celebrate. An Orthodox Jewish wedding is one of the most joyful events you will ever attend. We believe that making the chattan and kallah happy is actually a mitzvah, a divine commandment. So the whole community shows up and gives it everything they have.

What an amazing wedding tradition. After thousands of years, we are still doing it the same way — and it still feels brand new every time.